21 Sep 2003 - Another Day Another dollar

Yo Holler to the people....whats up??!!! I've been feeling lots better the last couple of days. Been spending time with 2 of my best friends and it has been awesome, hilarious, inspiring, uneducational(LOL) time! A few times I almost laughed hard enough to pee my pants..Thanks to Phyllis and Justin...you two are absolutely awesome!!!
Work has started to get slower. NOw, pretty much, we are just busy on the weekends. I guess with the weather getting cooler people aren't getting out as much. That is good in a way. I can concentrate on school and not work so much. I get one day off a week where i have no school or work at all. Just one day! How long can a person go on that??!!! Someone tell me so I can prepare it. Ha Ha! Like we can really prepare for something. Have you ever really thought about it. You can find out something that is going to happen in the near future and you try like hell to get adjusted to the change that will come and subconsiously get ready for it but all in all it just ain't gonna happen. You don't really know for sure how you will react to something until you experience it first hand. Chew on that for awhile and let me know what you think...LOL
Oh YEah I almost forgot something.......I've been spending more time with Phyllis....we have such fun together. She has come over the last couple of nights and just chilled together. Oh and Justin and Rob were here too!! We usually end up listening to music, or downloading funny shit, south park stuff. Cartman Is fucking hilarious!!! We Laugh our Asses off for Hours and Hours!! Almost to the point of peeing ourselves silly. Our House has pretty much become the hang out spot after work. One night, we had 8 people here just having a good ol time! We are the Party House!! Maybe we should start charging a couple of bucks at the door. You know, an admission charge, but then it probably wouldn't be as much fun?! Who knows Im just kidding......

11 Sep 2003 - Another moment in time

time has been passing by pretty quickly. i've been going to school 3 days a week working 5 days a week. Its a pretty hectic schedule but it has to be done. I have a couple of papers due next week for my English and Theatre classes. also, have my first math exam tomorrow. Its pre algebra...I didn't even take it in high school, so I got a lot of learning to do. I was doing ok in it until we started working on integers. Positive and negative numbers are a pain in my ass!!! But I am s-l-o-w-l-y getting it down.

My two best friends came over on Monday night and we partied some. It was great. I hadn't seem them in over 2 weeks. We did a little of this and that...and just had a great time. Like we always do.

recently, my emotions have been getting to me. I went to Ohio and got my 3 kids for the weekend. I so look forward to these times, I just wish i could them a lot more....but with having to pay child support...I can't afford it. It takes like a hundred dollars just in gas to go get them come back home and repeat the process on sunday. I only get one full day with them and its just not enough. When we took them home on Sunday...we drove back on the Ohio River Scenic Byway. It was lots of fun. We got to ride a ferry across the Ohio River--which I had NO idea that they still did that kind of stuff. We even stopped at this park....Cave-in-Rock State Park in Illinois.....there's a cave that sits right on the bank of the river. IT was pretty awesome. I really enjoyed the time with my kids. I want to move back to Ohio to be closer to them but right now its just not financially feasible. And of course, the courts just don't understand that and they don't care at all. To Hell with the court system!!! If I could afford a lawyer, I am sure it would be different but I can't. Life sucks! but you have to move on and keep on living just to spite it. I've been through worse in my life and I can get through this. My love for my kids keep me going and they will until the end.

30 Aug 2003 - Work again!

I got off work this morning at 4 am....I really should be going to bed since I have to work another 10 hours tonight...wheewww!! Im tired. Also, I was a good girl...I went to school this morning. English and Pre-Algebra.....not bad, not hard. We don't have school (of course) Labor Day...but I do get the great opportunity of working 10 hours on that day.

28 Aug 2003 - My first day of college!!!!!

WEll, yesterday (wednesday) was my first day of college. It was really cool. I was back at school after 13 years. I am taking English,Math(required) and Biology and Theatre. I really enjoyed my theatre professor. He was very enthusiastic, dramatic, and had such a flare. I know I am going to enjoy it ALOT!!!! I have an hour in between each class.....that can get kind of boring, but I will have plenty of time to get homework done since I am also working 40 hours a week too!!! My husband made me promise to cut back on work if I find myself getting exhausted. Cause he knows that I am stubborn, and probably won't, even if I know I should. He takes such good care of me. I can't believe it sometimes.

I went to work right after school....well, it was dead. I work in a restaurant and we weren't busy at all.. Which was kind of nice but I didn't make much money. But thats ok...I was tired from school and being outside most of the day...I had fun at work though.....Especially when Drew works....he is funny but Man can he get annoying....He reminds me of my little brother...We had fun together but he didn't let me forgot that he was my little brother and that they are supposed to annoy the hell out of their older sisters!!!!

Just a relaxing day.

I went to work sunday night and ended up working until 4am. I was supposed to be at school at 8 on monday but i didn't make it. I was tired from being at work so late. A good friend of mine, Nathan, stopped by today. What a surprise that was!!! It was so good to see him. He is an absolute sweetheart. We always have such a good time together.
On a more deeper note....I have been doing a lot of thinking and I am tired of it...LOL Sometimes I wish I could not think so much. I start thinking about things and that starts me worrying about things. Its mind blowing!! I have been writing alot more poetry here recently. Just composing whatever comes to my mind at the time.

OH Yeah....where I live...we have a 3.1 magnitude earthquake!!!! I was sitting in the living room watching tv...and out of nowhere comes this shake. IT felt like a train had went by...we live right in front of train tracks, which there are alot of trains on. My husband is LIke "wtf" and walks outside to see if someone was messing with the house. I walked to the door and was listening to see if a train had went by. Well, a little while later I was flipping channels on the TV, like I always do, and happened to stop on the local news channel, and sure enough they are talking about the earthquake. IT was centered just 8 miles from us. How weird!! I think its like the 3rd or 4th one to occur since we moved here last April.

I'm going to bed now...

23 Aug 2003 - exciting day....so far!

Well, my husband and I went and met couple from a site that we belong too. They were really nice and funny. We went and had lunch with them. It was a good time. We are doing to definitely meet them again and see where things go. (we never did--updated nov 12, 04)

tonight is my first day back to work after about 2 weeks of being off. I work until 4 am but I am excited. to get back in the swing of things, see my friends again and make some good old fashioned money...YEAH!!!

Forward Ho!!!!!!

Well, I went and talked with my Managers from Old job and I got my job back....hooray for me!!! *dancing like its going out of style* I had to sit through an hour lecture but it was well worth it! I feel like I am on cloud nine.

I went to school and got some stuff finalized. Talk with 2 of my teachers and I already got one homework assignment and I haven't even been to my first class yet. yeesh! whats up with that?! :) But I am loving the challenge of combining work and school. I know I can do it. The first week will probably be rough but such is life and Onward I go!

21 Aug 2003 - change is good

well, yesterday I went and signed up for college. I am thinking of going into business management.I will be going 3 days a week. I applied for financial aid seeing how I am not in the means to pay for it myself, and they offer it. so why not?! I am supposed to go to my first class tomorrow. I am really nervous about it. I don't know why. Its just school.

I really miss my old job. I miss the people and going to work and making money. My sister is picking me up in a little while and I am going to stop by(my old job) and pick up my last paycheck and talk with them, possibly, of getting my job back. I am keeping my fingers crossed. I am even willing to take the demotion(I got promoted 2 weeks ago this past monday) if they will hire me back. If not, I will look for another one.

Now I have to get used to going to bed at a decent hour. Haven't been getting a lot of sleep this week. Used to staying up late. I was working 2nd shift(which started at 5pm). My first class at school starts at 8am...eckkkkk!!! Its going to take a while to get used to the new hours.

18 Aug 2003 - lots happening!!

Its been awhile since I've wrote....

Well, first things first I guess... I kind of got fired from my job that I held for over a year and this is like a week after I got promoted to a trainer (I was a server at a restaurant chain) I loved that job. But they didn't like the fact that I had to take 4 weeks off this summer so i could have my kids. they live with their dad, for now anyways. :( So the day after we (my husband and I) get back from the long drive ( 12-16 hrs) I call work to remind them that someone has to pick me up in time for this Managers meeting. Well, the manager that I am speaking to informs me that I was marked off the schedule. They did this because I supposedly didn't show up for 3 days of work and nobody knew where I was. Which was a lie because I told the Gen. Manager that I couldn't work those days because of my kids. He said he would take care of it. Well obviously he didn't. Well, after talking with my husband and sister, I decided not to go back. It was getting to stressful anyways. I worked the night shift and it was getting tiresome Of having to put up with their(work) constent bickering to me about needing weekends off and such.

So now I have already been hired somewhere else. Just 4 days a week...its 9 hours days but HEY! I get 3 days off a week. How cool is that?!

I went to a bookstore and got 2 books. One is called "The Ultimate Book of Shadows for a New Generation" by Silver Raven Wolf and "The Ultimate Encylopedia of Mythology". I am trying to learn new things on Pagans, Wiccan, and Mythology. I wanted to become more spiritual and insync with the world. I feel like I have been inspired to change my world and travel a different path than the one I have been on and I feel different. My husband commented to me today that he got the sense that I have become more relaxed about things. And its true.....I do...I feel at peace with myself. So far I have learned that I will not be afraid of change for through change....no telling what will happen. It starts with you and one small step.

May the spirit of life enter you and reinvigorate your soul.

5 Aug 2003 - awakened

I have started learning some new things the last few days. I have even started writing again... I just write what I feel...I let the words flow from me like lava...I never know if it ends up making sense Or not. does life even make sense??? I think you have to know how to interpret all things around and you open your self up....and sometimes, sometimes, small parts will start to come together and the big picture (for you) gets easier to see. The follow is something that I wrote after talking to....(I would tell you but I dont know if he would want me to)....but in the small amount of time that we did speak(online) I felt some sort of connection with him....spiritually that is....

good night dear sir and may you sleep well and awaken with a new vision and spread your soul around for others to dwell.

I feel I have much I can learn from him, he seems wise for his young years...

31 Jul 2003 - the beginning

Here I am writing in a diary. Had a diary years ago when I was young. I loved writing in it. Everytime i go back and read what I wrote when I was younger, I realize that I am the same now as I was then. I haven't really changed all that much since then. I am sure I have changed some since then but not really. I am still stubborn somewhat anyways...:) I am trying to learn new things....and the internet is a great place for that. I am usually online alot except for when I am working, of course. More to come later